Monday, December 7, 2009

OCD-Obsessive Christmas Disorder


The Christmas tree has been standing NAKED in our family room since the day after Thanksgiving. I knew decorations were past due when family friend, JT commented about the sparseness of decor (BTW he is 8...yes I was chastised by an 8 year old)!

We remedied that last night. I was in charge of pulling the ornaments out of the tote and Rob wrangled the children off the step ladder. At one point I found myself telling Ben "you will not whine, you will enjoy this fun family tradition. AND you will remember it as being a magical and fun time when you grow up dang it!" (just so you know he wasn't convinced).

After that speech, I overheard Rob commiserating with Ben saying that he hated this part too (stemming from his childhood tree decorating memories). After that, Rob told the kids they could just put the ornaments anywhere, because as soon as "you go to bed, Mom will just rearrange them anyway". How rude! I am not that Obsessive Compulsive, am I?

*Sigh*

I hate when Rob is right about my flaws...no wait, my personality quirks. But he was...and I did. I rearranged a good amount of ornaments on the tree. I'm sorry, but it seem not only unsightly but also unsafe to have the majority of the ornaments on the bottom 1/3 of the tree. As one of the safety officers of my family, I feel it is my duty to protect others from the hazards that my haphazard ornament presentation presented.

I love Christmas, which is why I think I will consider my OCD to stand for Obsessive Christmas Disorder. Despite my crazy tendencies I hope my kids will look back at these times with fondness and love! Ben shouldn't grow up with as much animosity for decorating Christmas trees as Rob...I don't make him do the lights! (that was a VERY touchy subject for the first 10 years of our marriage. Even still I have to bat my eyelashes and pert-near beg to get Rob to put up the outdoor Christmas lights. But this is another whole blog in and of itself-I'm not the only neurotic one in the family)

By the time we finished with some indoor s'mores everyone was all smiles again. This might be a salvageable tradition yet!

Don't Worry Mom...


Ben seems like a good candidate to become a gentle giant, I mean if the kids stops growing at 6'5" it will be a miracle. I figured his size would be intimidating enough without having to use any violence to defend anyone smaller or in need. I always thought that I wanted my boys to stand up for others...Truth be told I still do.

BUT when Ben hops in the car after Kindergarten one day and announces that he got into a fight today it does make me start to panic. I have a feeling if we are already starting this in Kindergarten, it's going to be a long 13 years. I took inventory of his face and visible parts, no bruises or marks, always a plus. I downgraded my panic to level yellow and started to probe for more information.

Our conversation went down something like this...

Me: Is everyone ok?

Ben: Yep.

Me: Why were you in a fight?

Ben: These wicked (yes he said wicked) boys came up to my little friend Cooper and SHOVED him to the ground. I HAD to help him Mom. And so did Blake, but I got there first.

Me: So what happened?

Ben: Blake punched the naughty boy he was fighting, and I grabbed the other boys hands. He was a wiggly sucker, but I held on and kept grabbing his hands if he wiggled away. But don't worry about it Mom...we totally won!

Me(while rubbing my temples): Why didn't you just get the recess guard?

Ben: There wasn't time. They were gonna get poor Cooper and me & Blake weren't gonna let them. But it's all okay, cuz we beat them.

Me: Ben are you the biggest boy in Kindergarten?

Ben: Yep. I was bigger than these bad boys, but don't worry Mom, they aren't Kindergartners. I wouldn't beat on the little Kindergartners.

Me: How old are these boys?

Ben: They are first graders. But I really am bigger than they are. That one was really squirmy and strong but I knew he'd hit me if I let him go, so I just held on. Cuz I dunno know how to punch like Blake...he's a really good puncher.

Me(fighting a smile): You know you're not supposed to fight? And you will get kicked out of school if they catch you fighting?

Ben: But Mom what else could I do when they were all fighting Cooper? I can't let mean kids just beat up my friends.

Me(thinking he has a somewhat valid point): Well here's what my dad told me about fighting. "You NEVER start the fight, but if you have to be in one you make sure to FINISH the fight. If you are involved you're going to get kicked out of school anyway, so you may as well come out on top".

Ben: Okay...but Mom I don't know how to really fight with punches and all that.

Mom: You'll have to take that up with your dad.

Ben: OK Mom. Don't worry Mom, I won't get beat up.

And with a hug and kiss off he went.

I acknowledge this was probably not one of my better parenting moments, but he had some valid arguments. And since he wasn't throwing punches...what am I going to do?All in all, there are worse things in this world than having a boy who wants to defend those that are weak or picked on. I leave it in Rob's capable hands as to how to teach Ben to defend himself so I don't worry...as much.

Now the question remains, how many times will I get a call from the principal before High School Graduation? We shall see.

PS: After talking to his teacher, we figured out the boys they were fighting weren't first graders...they were third graders. Great...