"The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home." -David O. McKay
Monday, December 7, 2009
Don't Worry Mom...
Ben seems like a good candidate to become a gentle giant, I mean if the kids stops growing at 6'5" it will be a miracle. I figured his size would be intimidating enough without having to use any violence to defend anyone smaller or in need. I always thought that I wanted my boys to stand up for others...Truth be told I still do.
BUT when Ben hops in the car after Kindergarten one day and announces that he got into a fight today it does make me start to panic. I have a feeling if we are already starting this in Kindergarten, it's going to be a long 13 years. I took inventory of his face and visible parts, no bruises or marks, always a plus. I downgraded my panic to level yellow and started to probe for more information.
Our conversation went down something like this...
Me: Is everyone ok?
Ben: Yep.
Me: Why were you in a fight?
Ben: These wicked (yes he said wicked) boys came up to my little friend Cooper and SHOVED him to the ground. I HAD to help him Mom. And so did Blake, but I got there first.
Me: So what happened?
Ben: Blake punched the naughty boy he was fighting, and I grabbed the other boys hands. He was a wiggly sucker, but I held on and kept grabbing his hands if he wiggled away. But don't worry about it Mom...we totally won!
Me(while rubbing my temples): Why didn't you just get the recess guard?
Ben: There wasn't time. They were gonna get poor Cooper and me & Blake weren't gonna let them. But it's all okay, cuz we beat them.
Me: Ben are you the biggest boy in Kindergarten?
Ben: Yep. I was bigger than these bad boys, but don't worry Mom, they aren't Kindergartners. I wouldn't beat on the little Kindergartners.
Me: How old are these boys?
Ben: They are first graders. But I really am bigger than they are. That one was really squirmy and strong but I knew he'd hit me if I let him go, so I just held on. Cuz I dunno know how to punch like Blake...he's a really good puncher.
Me(fighting a smile): You know you're not supposed to fight? And you will get kicked out of school if they catch you fighting?
Ben: But Mom what else could I do when they were all fighting Cooper? I can't let mean kids just beat up my friends.
Me(thinking he has a somewhat valid point): Well here's what my dad told me about fighting. "You NEVER start the fight, but if you have to be in one you make sure to FINISH the fight. If you are involved you're going to get kicked out of school anyway, so you may as well come out on top".
Ben: Okay...but Mom I don't know how to really fight with punches and all that.
Mom: You'll have to take that up with your dad.
Ben: OK Mom. Don't worry Mom, I won't get beat up.
And with a hug and kiss off he went.
I acknowledge this was probably not one of my better parenting moments, but he had some valid arguments. And since he wasn't throwing punches...what am I going to do?All in all, there are worse things in this world than having a boy who wants to defend those that are weak or picked on. I leave it in Rob's capable hands as to how to teach Ben to defend himself so I don't worry...as much.
Now the question remains, how many times will I get a call from the principal before High School Graduation? We shall see.
PS: After talking to his teacher, we figured out the boys they were fighting weren't first graders...they were third graders. Great...
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