Mom's everywhere love when their husbands spend quality time with the kids. We often turn a blind eye to several things you do with the kids because despite our seemingly obsessive issue with safety, the kids love spending time with you and think you are the best parent ever. You let them do the things mom just won't! We just chalk it up as mancare, and enjoy the small reprieve. It's no wonder the kids think you are fabulous...
You let the boys have bb gun wars because that's what you did when you were a kid, but they were wearing ski goggles so they wouldn't shoot their eyes out...
You're not 100% sure how the 4wheeler ended up in the ditch but the 8 year old insisted he was more than capable to drive it on his own and he was doing fairly well until...
The kids had a great time ice fishing and only a couple of her toes are really red and sore, but don't worry that's not frostbite...
You can't quite figure out the settings on the oven, so instead of eating the lasagna that is ready to bake in the fridge you feed the kids cheese for dinner. Just cheese...
Here are somethings you might not realize that are important when your wife leaves you to your mancare for an entire weekend:
When your wife leaves for a girls weekend, one of the last things she wants is the Friday night call from you asking for the pediatricians phone number...(Why don't you have that programmed in that high tech phone? You have everything else in there!)
"Why do you need the pediatricians number?"
*Crickets*
"Text me the number & I'll send you a picture that explaining everything."
Here's a safety tip for dads: NEVER, EVER send your wife a photo like this when she is several hours away and can do NOTHING to help her babies...NEVER!!!
The results are not pretty:
Words get used that no good woman should ever say...all emphasizing the point that her baby should be in the ER and just how quickly she expects that visit to occur!!
In all fairness to Rob, his mancare can't be blamed for this accident (just the breaking of the news to me). Later that night, once everything had calmed down and it was apparent that Hayden didn't have brain damage (his eyes were simply swollen from crying & it was a bad picture to boot) I got the story of what happened to my sweet boy.
Hayden convinced his Nana to teach him to ride his bike, sans training wheels...
He was doing well, and being a cautious grandma she relegated him to riding on the lawn. It worked well. He was zipping along and really had the hang of it. Nana left to get the big kids from school, and Auntie watched him.
The neighbor boys enticed him off the safety of the lawn. He really was doing well & he had a helmet on. What could go wrong??? Your baby could end up looking like a scabbed rhinoceros that's what.
Speed. Cement. Loose helmet. Head.
Obviously not a great combo...
The on-call doctor took one look at him and said "whoa, that is the BIGGEST goose-egg I've EVER seen". How reassuring.
Off for a CAT scan they went. Again, the radiologist said "wow, that is HUGE". Masters of the obvious-the whole lot of them!!!
Fortunately, no permanent damage!
Back to MANCARE 101
Next safety tip is that if your kid tells you they are allergic to something, you should probably believe them...
Saturday afternoon I get another call from Rob...
"Is Lauren really allergic to bee stings?"
"Did she get stung?"
"Is she allergic? She says she is & I'm just wondering..."
*Deep sigh*
"Yes. She is allergic."
He tries to muffle the phone at this point & I hear him yell "Lauren get the Benedryl"
I told him what to do & watch for then hung up, silently praying right there in Dillard's that my little family would survive the rest of the mancare weekend in tact. Prayers answered, no more phone calls heralding bad news (thank Heaven).
I'm seriously doubting Rob is ever going to let me leave for another girls weekend again!!! If I do manage to sneak away again, I think I'm going to add some extra money into the cafeteria plan before I go just to cover the extra mancare expenses!
***I have to admit that Rob is AMAZING at taking care of our kids. He really doesn't mancare them as poorly as some other men I know (most of my mancare examples are from my friends). I'm not 100% sure if I really know all the mancare shenanigans that are going to go on at the father and son's camp out next weekend, nor do I think I want to know...all I ask is that you bring my kids home alive and preferably in one piece!
You let the boys have bb gun wars because that's what you did when you were a kid, but they were wearing ski goggles so they wouldn't shoot their eyes out...
You're not 100% sure how the 4wheeler ended up in the ditch but the 8 year old insisted he was more than capable to drive it on his own and he was doing fairly well until...
The kids had a great time ice fishing and only a couple of her toes are really red and sore, but don't worry that's not frostbite...
You can't quite figure out the settings on the oven, so instead of eating the lasagna that is ready to bake in the fridge you feed the kids cheese for dinner. Just cheese...
Here are somethings you might not realize that are important when your wife leaves you to your mancare for an entire weekend:
When your wife leaves for a girls weekend, one of the last things she wants is the Friday night call from you asking for the pediatricians phone number...(Why don't you have that programmed in that high tech phone? You have everything else in there!)
"Why do you need the pediatricians number?"
*Crickets*
"Text me the number & I'll send you a picture that explaining everything."
Here's a safety tip for dads: NEVER, EVER send your wife a photo like this when she is several hours away and can do NOTHING to help her babies...NEVER!!!
The results are not pretty:
Words get used that no good woman should ever say...all emphasizing the point that her baby should be in the ER and just how quickly she expects that visit to occur!!
In all fairness to Rob, his mancare can't be blamed for this accident (just the breaking of the news to me). Later that night, once everything had calmed down and it was apparent that Hayden didn't have brain damage (his eyes were simply swollen from crying & it was a bad picture to boot) I got the story of what happened to my sweet boy.
Hayden convinced his Nana to teach him to ride his bike, sans training wheels...
He was doing well, and being a cautious grandma she relegated him to riding on the lawn. It worked well. He was zipping along and really had the hang of it. Nana left to get the big kids from school, and Auntie watched him.
The neighbor boys enticed him off the safety of the lawn. He really was doing well & he had a helmet on. What could go wrong??? Your baby could end up looking like a scabbed rhinoceros that's what.
Speed. Cement. Loose helmet. Head.
Obviously not a great combo...
The on-call doctor took one look at him and said "whoa, that is the BIGGEST goose-egg I've EVER seen". How reassuring.
Off for a CAT scan they went. Again, the radiologist said "wow, that is HUGE". Masters of the obvious-the whole lot of them!!!
Fortunately, no permanent damage!
Back to MANCARE 101
Next safety tip is that if your kid tells you they are allergic to something, you should probably believe them...
Saturday afternoon I get another call from Rob...
"Is Lauren really allergic to bee stings?"
"Did she get stung?"
"Is she allergic? She says she is & I'm just wondering..."
*Deep sigh*
"Yes. She is allergic."
He tries to muffle the phone at this point & I hear him yell "Lauren get the Benedryl"
I told him what to do & watch for then hung up, silently praying right there in Dillard's that my little family would survive the rest of the mancare weekend in tact. Prayers answered, no more phone calls heralding bad news (thank Heaven).
I'm seriously doubting Rob is ever going to let me leave for another girls weekend again!!! If I do manage to sneak away again, I think I'm going to add some extra money into the cafeteria plan before I go just to cover the extra mancare expenses!
***I have to admit that Rob is AMAZING at taking care of our kids. He really doesn't mancare them as poorly as some other men I know (most of my mancare examples are from my friends). I'm not 100% sure if I really know all the mancare shenanigans that are going to go on at the father and son's camp out next weekend, nor do I think I want to know...all I ask is that you bring my kids home alive and preferably in one piece!
We were out of state visiting the in-laws way back when we only had two kids. My wife and her parents decided to go for a walk and took the oldest with them. They left the younger one in the crib at the house. All is going well, so far.
ReplyDeleteAfter about 20 minutes, my brother-in-law, who had been visiting, as well, decided that it was time for him to go home. He was going to call his roommate to come get him, but I decided to be nice and offered him a ride. How nice of me, right?
Well, I somehow forgot that I had a kid asleep in the crib at the house. I left and gave the brother-in-law a ride home, then drove back to the house. My wife and her parents got home about 10 minutes later and said, "Oh, did you move the car?" I responded that I took her brother home.
"Did you move the carseat into your car for sleeping child? I didn't see it there a minute ago."
"Uh, what? You didn't have sleeping child with you?"
Yeah, he was fine when he was left at home alone for 20-30 minutes, but I got grounded.
(Names have been intentionally left out to protect the innocent ... and me.)
Bless you men & your sweet trying souls...
DeleteI blame at least 5 of my 15 gray hairs on Rob's mancare; however, just like in your story the kids really are just fine so maybe I should just kick back & let the kids enjoy the ride!
Then again, if I do that we might be up to our eyeballs in medical deductibles so maybe not!