Derailed, but still THANKFUL!!!

How the holiday's keep getting derailed by illness is beyond me, BUT hopefully since we've gone the rounds the last two we will be EXEMPT for Christmas. Despite the fact that we had to cancel our trip to St. George (the suitcases were in the car) due to vomiting, I still have much to be grateful for.

I am grateful for my washing machine, Lysol, Clorox wipes, waterproof mattress covers, a helpful husband, and that vomiting eventually does stop.

Truthfully, I am grateful for those things, but also so many more! I am thankful for Lauren, and how sweet, concerned and helpful she is. For Ben and his passion and exuberance for everything. I am grateful for Rachel's funny sense of humor and her spunky nature. Hayden is my snuggly boy, who always has a smile on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. My children are wonderful!

I have a great deal of gratitude in my heart for Rob. He is the most AMAZING husband ever! He helps me clean up the kids puke, he spends time with our children (and actually enjoys it). He shaved off that infernal beard just because I hated it, he is kind, thoughtful, considerate, loving, pretty dang hot, funny and takes such good care of us (he's currently reading a Zombie Survival Guide, so he can keep us safe no matter what we may encounter)!

I am thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and His willingness to sacrifice His life to provide a way for me to return to His presence. I am grateful for a loving and kind Heavenly Father. He knows who I am, loves me, and blesses me.

I am grateful for:
family (we have the best families & are fortunate to live near so many of them)
our home
freedoms & those who protect them
our country
food
clothing
friends (I wouldn't be nearly as sane as I am without you)
modern medicine/conveniences (Thank you for not making me a pioneer.I would've died on the trail)

I am blessed in so many ways and can't even begin to fully express all the thanks in my heart. I love my life!

The Prickly Plague

There are some men in the world that need beards:
*Some need one for medical reasons.
*Hunters need it to complete the crazy camo motif-you know it helps them hide in the trees.
*Lumberjacks need beards to try to help distract from all the plaid they wear.
*Terrorists need a beard to trap bugs or small food particles-never know when they may get their next meal while hiding in the spider hole.

Since my wonderful husband falls into NONE of the previously mentioned categories, I would think that he has NO GOOD REASON for the scruff that is growing on his face!!!

I love you dearly Rob, but the beard HAS TO GO! I admit that it's my own fault that you grew a beard in the first place-curse you Count Dooku Halloween costume!!! But since "laziness" isn't one of the acceptable reasons to have a beard I think you really should remedy the situation that is plaguing our lives...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!?!? I miss your smooth, lovely face! I really do love you, you crazy bearded man!

Time Saving Tips by Lauren

Lauren apparently had an epiphany yesterday...If you sleep with your clothes UNDER your jammies it saves time getting dressed in the morning. We left the kids with a baby sitter last night and I couldn't understand why she didn't have them put their jammies on. But I didn't really care since I didn't have to put them to bed!

It didn't occur to me until tonight when the girls came out in their pajamas OVER the outfit for tomorrow. I asked why and Lauren's simple reply was that it made it quicker in the morning. Brilliant as that is, I had to burst her bubble by telling her why that is a gross concept! She & Rachel promptly remedied the situation! Too bad, the girls will just have to get dressed in the morning like everyone else!!!

Don't tell PETA, but...

Knowing good and well that we are not pet people, I made one (no make that 5) of the biggest mistakes of my married life this last Spring. My sister, Katie, and I decided we were really FUNNY girls and bought my brother, Robert 2 ducks. He made the mistake of claiming that a duck would be a cool pet, especially if it followed him around his yard quacking. That sounded like an open invitation to me! When we went to buy him the 2 cute, little, fuzzy ducklings I made the FATAL mistake of bringing my children. What a STUPID woman I can be! I think I'm going to blame Robert for introducing the very idea of ducks into our world! What a naughty brother!

All I heard all weekend was. We need some ducks too. I caved. In a true moment of weakness I gave in and stopped at the pet store. Three ducklings later and we were on our way home. The "helpful" pet store employees told me the ducklings had to stay inside for about 6 weeks so they didn't get eaten by the neighborhood cats. Made sense to me, they would live in their little terrarium and we could watch them lovingly. What could possibly go wrong?

NEVER ask what can go wrong...

Who knew that ducks grow at an alarming rate? Certainly not me! By the end of 5 weeks they were almost full grown! We had to set up a baby corral around a kiddie pool in my salon. This was not building the loving pet bond I had envisioned. I admit, they did follow me around the yard during the day when we went out to play or do yard work, but that hardly made up for the duck smell that was lingering in my salon! Nor did the fact that one of the ducks was slightly neurotic help their cause (ironically it was Lauren's duck, Cookie, and the only male in the bunch).

It has been funny to watch the neighbors driving past do a triple take and watch the word 'duck' form on their lips. They aren't too bad as far as pets go. They aren't excessively noisy, they make for a good show and tell (at least Rachel's duck, Bubba, does), they are funny to watch play in the pool, they can forage for bugs if we forget to feed them, and so on. But the weather has turned colder and I am now wondering what we are going to do with 3 ducks during the winter.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention these ducks are NOT the type that migrate? They are Pekins, the kind you eat in good Chinese restaurants. Which brings in another whole dimension to my duck "tail". Rob wants to eat them. The girls have finally consented to let him feast on Cookie and Bubba (with the stipulation that they get a dog once the ducks are gone). Ben cries every time this conversation comes up...it looks like Sassy is safe for the time being.

It's bad enough that one day Rachel was standing on the deck looking lovingly at the ducks playing in the water and saying in her little raspy voice "poor, poor ducks. Daddy's gonna eat you so I can have a dog". I think their days are numbered!

My other two mistakes came in the form of kittens. I found an abandoned feral kitten in our backyard under the dump truck tire. It was so small that it barely covered my hand and it had to be bottle fed. I dutifully loved and fed and cared for Oreo for 3 and 1/2 weeks. In the end he didn't make it. I was worried about my kids, but kids are resilient and moved on quickly enough!
My mom found another stray kitten which she so kindly bestowed upon us after Oreo's death. Wolverine was an awesome cat, he was fluffy and orange and cuddly. He actually turned into my cat and I was happy when he would purr upon seeing me!

We really were not destined to be pet people...Wolverine ran away when we left town in a hurry for a funeral. I think he just got too lonely and went and found a new home. Truth be told, I cried when I found out he was gone. Seriously, why couldn't it have been the damn ducks that ran away? We obviously weren't meant to have a kitten!

Rob and I very seldom fight, and the kitten situation was the closest we've come to fighting in years. I can't believe he didn't divorce me for the cats-he HATES cats!!! So, like I said...Don't tell PETA and for now we will avoid acquiring more pets...it's safer for everyone!

In the mean time, does anyone want a few ducks?

Tall Bob with a Jeep

When I was at BYU living the wild single life (as wild as one can get and still be eligible to go to the Y), I had 3 quirky criteria for the type of man I was going to marry. There are the usual standards: strong testimony, returned missionary, hard-working, intelligent, good kisser, handsome, etc...those are qualities I expected. These 3 qualities were in addition to all of the normal desired traits. They were something more...more of a long-running roommate joke than anything!!!

Criteria1: He had to be named Bob. This dates back to High School when I called everybody Bob. If I didn't know someone's name they were automatically called Bob. I decided it would be easier for me to remember my husbands name if it was already Bob.

Criteria 2: He had to be tall. I dated some guys that weren't tall, which was fine, but the majority of them were over 6'2" (I was so happy to get to college and find there were whole TEAMS of men that were tall-and they were actually willing to date someone over 5'2". I never made it to the basketball team...I started with the football team and ended with the volleyball players!Pleasant Grove High School unfortunately was NOT a tall-boy dating mecca). Now there was such a thing as too tall...I went out dancing with a guy that was 6'10" and I felt like part of the freak parade! I digress...sorry!

Criteria 3: He needed to drive a Jeep. Valerie, Rachel and I were going through a 2 year phase where we wanted to date guys with Jeeps so we could go up digging in the canyons.

Ironically, Rob fit the bill for ALL of the qualities! When he showed up for our first date, my roommates, Valerie and Rachel, flipped out. They knew I was going on a date with a man named BOB (back then, Rob was known to all his friends as Bob. A habit I had to break when I met his mom-I'll explain that some other time). They swung open the door and saw a TALL Bob...Rob is 6'4" (a perfect height, I can wear 4" stiletto heels and still feel shorter than him). The most amazing part was when we walked out to the parking lot and hopped into his JEEP! Rachel and Valerie stood on our balcony giving me the thumbs-up sign and yelling "he drives a Jeep-HE'S A TALL BOB WITH A JEEP...it's him"!

Rob kept asking what all the ruckus was about and it took me half of the evening to come clean and admit my quirky criteria lists. If you want to completely scare a twenty-something year old man, tell him that he is the only man you have met that fits your 3 main criteria for marriage on your first date! I did put it more delicately than that, but all he heard was RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!!! He almost went and dropped me off right then without so much as a backward glance, but thankfully he persevered (I think he was persuaded by my kissing prowess-hahaha).

The moral of the story? Set your standards high...if you want a Tall Bob with a Jeep don't settle for anything less! I have NEVER once been unsatisfied with my goal achievement!

Fetch Me the Smelling Salts

Why do old movies where the men wear high collars, waist coats and breeches make me swoon? It is a pity that they are no longer in fashion...of course I don't think I would want to wear a corset and hoop skirt (I can only envision the mayhem that would ensue from trying to stuff that kind of outfit into the Suburban).

I love, love, LOVE the BBC movies, especially Pride & Prejudice and North & South (thank you Crystal for introducing me to Mr. Thornton). Between Mr. Darcy's brooding and Mr. Thornton's smoldering it's enough to give a girl the vapors...quick fetch me the smelling salts! While I was captivated by Mr. Darcy for a long time, Mr. Thornton has passed him by (I think its the blue eyes and dark hair...reminds me of Rob). Be still my beating heart!

Since Rob is working late, I'm off to swoon!

The Halloween that was kind of a Hallowasn't

Stinkin' H1N1 flu...my poor babies are sick and it totally ruined Lauren's Halloween. This year Halloween shall now be known as Hallowasn't! Poor Lauren missed trick-or-treating. Luckily for her she got all of the treats without doing any of the work! Still kind of disappointing to not have her trotting out the door with the rest of our Jedi force.

The kids are taking turns passing the flu around, so we could be out of circulation until Thanksgiving at this rate.Oh well, better Halloween than down for Christmas!


I wonder if I should be blaming myself somewhat since I didn't fight to get them vaccinated. I've never put much stock into flu shots since every time we've gotten one everybody seems to get sicker than on years that we don't get shot. The guilt will pass soon enough, no doubt quicker than it should, but I made my decision and now I must deal with the consequences. And truth be told I probably won't get them shot next year either! However, I have become a firm believer in what Tamiflu can do. Miraculous stuff! Highly recommend it!

But I digress...back to Hallowasn't.
Rob took the kids out Trick-or-Treating for over 2 hours. I was betting Yoda, aka Hayden, would only last about a half an hour but that kid is driven by the almighty sugar rush. A regular glutton he is (imagine that being said in a Yoda voice)! He was bouncing, literally, off the furniture for at least 45 minutes after they returned...pretty funny to watch (until I was trying to corral him for bed).

Rachel rocked the Princess Leia buns and Rob couldn't get her to stop running from door to door for the first 2 culs-de-sac. Obi-Wan, Ben, Kanobi came home and instantly started doling out half his candy to Lauren...without being asked, and without picking through to find the ones he didn't like. He is such a generous and kind soul!

The sick Queen Amadala and I lounged at home to oversee the candy dispensing. Actually I grudgingly put down my book, North & South (smolder on Mr. Thornton) to hand out candy and she was quarantined in her room watching Halloween flicks. It was truly a different Hallowasn't than we are used to, but it's done and we can move on to Thanksgiving and Christmas...maybe, if everyone will hurry up and get better!